Would you consider asking for guidance from outside people about your relationship? For outside people in a relationship, i mean your friends, family or his or her friends. Let me tell you what i think.
This might or might not be the best move to try. For one, your family and friends would be biased, not because they do not like your significant other but because they just do not want to see you hurting. So asking them to help you out with issues related with your better half, their views would be from protective aspect which is totally understandable.
You should understand also, that these people will definitely be out to help regardless of them not knowing your fiancee or your boyfriend better. They will always give you an ear, a shoulder to clear your mind. Besides, youre family to them.
Being a girl in the African setup , we’re brought up with the notion that we stick to our partners and learn to be strong whenever things get tough.
I mean you can’t go back to your parents house after wrangles with your partner like you don’t have an African dad or mom.
So this relationship advice issue may have started with our ancestors. It does not look like its a modern idea its just that its so much needed now than it was then.
Let’s work it out, how many of friends think their other friends ruined their relationship? Khloe Kardashian thinks Kris Jenner was the main force behind her and Lamars divorce. Out of the love of a mother to her beautiful angel, she thinks you should go to her house for things to get better.
Yes they really try to help, by being protective. Parents have always assumed the worst or have you never told your mom you feel nauseated and now she thinks you’re expectant. Its just the same brains that will never overlook what you’re going through in your relationship.
Most of the times we judged our friends for sticking with their partners even in the worst situations, we were fast to tell them why they had to leave that guy because you think it was too early.
Love is not a universal feeling, not every one is in love, whoever you’re in love with is different from the person you’ve been with before. We love differently.
You may think venting to your mom, confiding in your friends is the best/worst thing to do. Here’s what I feel, asking different people on what you need guidance in may not be the best idea.
First you may be unable to disclose some of the intimate things that are the chances of your relationship problems. The person you’re confiding to will give you appropriate advice to the situation you created.
Two, all your friends will give you different thoughts and options on what to do which are not your thoughts. Oh yes this makes your problems uglier than they looked before.
Three is that it might be your family but they know the bare minimum of what you and your better half are going through. Basically what will happen here is that they will give you advice basing on situations they’ve been through or what they want.
However, revealing what your relationship struggles are in the most honest way may save you in the long run. Why? Because confiding in your mom would easen your heavy heart.
Also, for you and your partner finding a common person would even work better because you’re both comfortable in a case where you trust the person involved. You might want to consider a therapist in the most extreme cases. Just according to how intense you feel your situation is.
One thing is for sure is that youre the only one who feels the raw gritty feelings that your partner is giving you. They’re the ultimate people who can give us the answers we need.
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